


How your Papa and I met

by orphan_account



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: I suck at this..., M/M, She's a cutie, Spiderman/Deadpool adopt, Spidypool - Freeform, her names Raven, other fluffyness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-24 10:34:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1601756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter Parker and Wade Wilson are a thing. They adopted a little girl named Raven and she asked her Dad how he and Papa met. Wade tells his daughter all about it... It gets akward</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Er... Kids shouldn't be told what raven's about to hear and also.... this is my first... (Be kind?)

"Dad?" Raven pats to the kitchen and finds her dad eating enchiladas from a bowl. "How did you and Papa meet?"

Wade spit out the enchiladas in his mouth. "Wh-erm-h?"

"Dad!" Five year old Raven looks at him angrily, "I said-" Stomps her foot angrily "How did you and Papa meet?" The five year old stares at her Dad with obvious frustration, her dark brown hairs rising like hackles. 

"You look like your Papa," Wade grunts

"Daaaaad!"

"Fine you little churro, but I wanna finish my enchilada," he stuffs the whole thing in his mouth get's pulled by Raven to the couch.

"Commmon Dad!" Raven drags Wade over to the couch and sits expectantly. Wade stares, Raven stares, Wade stares, Raven stares, Wade sta-  
"Dad sit!" Wade sits on the couch with his legs on the plush chair next to him, Raven looks at him.

"Okay Churro, it was a dark and stormy night....." Raven slams the palm of her hand into her brow but listens after that...

Your Papa, as you know, has been Spider-man since he was a teen. Well, Papa was swinging around the city in his tight, little, sexy, spandex suit, shows off his butt nicely you- Ow!" Raven and Wade glare at each other, "Fine.  
Anyway, so your Papa was swinging around in the dark and he landed on a roof top to eat his dinner.... Pretty sure it was Chinese or something. Not good stuff. So there I was, in MY sexy skin tight spandex suit, it always fits so tight around my crotch and -Ow! Fu-Trucking stop that!!!"

"Dad, you disgust me"

"Meh, Stop punching me Ray-Ray" Wade looks at his kid with puppy eyes, "Churro...." Raven stares at her dad coolly, "Shut up about the weird stuff Dad"

"Fine... jeez. So Yeah, I was sitting on a roof top with my binoculars watching your Papa. and-OW!!!!!!"

"DAD!!!!!!!!"

"I WAS!!!"

"Fine"

"Fine, so yeah. Then Papa noticeed and was like 'ew perv' and I was 'babe, hows about we goes and gets some REAL food?' and your Papa said, 'F off you F'ing creep, go away' and I was like 'Babe!' and then your Papa punched me off the roof" Wade looked at Raven and Raven looked at her Dad...

"It wasn't love at first sight? That's how true love works right Dad?" She looks at Wade with teary eyes, "are you and Dad not in true love? You guys where fighting last night, Daddy...." Raven looks at her Dad...

"er Raven.... you see when a man loves a person very fucking much he has an urge... that fucking urge is the urge to fucking do something.... and um.. So last night your Papa and I were.... urges.... and pants.... and Fuck you supposed to be in bed!" Wades looks at Raven then at the couch, then at his daughter, back to the couch... then moves Raven to the plush chair and sits in front of her "Okay so this took a turn here and we're going to wait for your Papa" Wade was not saved by that. 

"Wade, Ray-Ray! I'm home, I brought ice cream! Oh, hi, Ray-Ray why are you crying?" Peter looks at his sobbing five year old then to his husband, "Wade!!!"

"Papa, you and Dad don't love each other anymore!!!!!" Raven buries her head in her dads tummy

"We don't?"


	2. You don't Love Me Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the second chapter and I hope you like it!! You know to the people that actually like take 1... and if you did comment and tell me and you know, all that jazz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it... by the way, Peter and Wade love each other they where just at it last night and Wades rough and yup

"Bea we do love each other. And I'm one hundred percent sure of it," Peter looks at Raven who hugs him tightly

She quietly whispers, "Little-Finger Promise?"

Peter hold his little finger up and wraps it around his daughters, "Cross my heart and hope to-"

"Swallow a Tacozilla whole!" Wade jumps in, Peter gives him a withering look. "What??"

"Your traumatizing my Bea asshole" Raven hugs her Papa and stops crying

"Do Papa and Daddy love Papa and Daddy enough to move the couch?" Peter eyes get wide, Wade rubs the back of his neck. Peter and Wade turn to look at the couch... it's moved a bit. Peter glares at Wade who shrugs and fidgets. Peter turns to Raven and, while stroking her hair says,

"Yes Papa and Daddy have love strong enough to move the couch"

"And mountains too!"

"Shut up dear"

Raven stares up at Peter, "Then what was Papa yelling at Dad on the couch last night?" Peter blushes, Wade grabs the Spiderman and Deadpool plushies and they sit in front of Raven. Peter starts to explain while Wade moves the plushies.

"Okay Bea, so when two people love each other very, very much..." The dolls kiss, "They some times like to... er... share a special moment" Deadpool holds hands with Spiderman "This moment is very special and is something that should only be done with the person you love the very most" The plushies almost shakes they heads, the Wade starts to roll around in pain from a hard elbow to the rib.

"Is it like a hug?"

Peter blushes, "Uhh... kinda. It's more like a very loving kiss"

"and of that it's a French-" Wade almost bites of the fingers suffocating him.

"It's like a kiss that two people who love each other VERY MUCH share" The plushies get into a dogie position with Deadpool on top, "okay, so boys have a....-" The plushies go through lots of positions and Raven gets traumatized. Raven learns that people who love each other lots have sex and almost that people who don't can do it too, but a quick elbow to the crotch saves both dads from that disaster. Through a series of demonstrations with the toys Raven becomes the most well educated five year old on sex positions.

Peter Wilson now seems to have a permanent blush that Wade Wilson is intent on spreading everywhere. Both superhero's learn to be a tad more careful where they go at it and Raven had yet to leave her room for any reason for the past five years.

The next morning they all get up for waffles, omelets, and that thing that Wade calls food. They all try to forget it happened in the first place, although the ketchup on Peters' omelet spells 'I love you very, very much"


End file.
